BloodRayne. Absolutely worst video game adaptations

June 12, 2020

BloodRayne

What is it? Dark action movie
Where to watch (at your own risk): Cineman

Before Stephenie Meyer's books became all the rage, vampires were a little unfashionable. Yes, they were often the antagonists, but we rarely got a game with a vampire protagonist. In the world of electronic entertainment, the exception was Cain and Rayne. The heroine of BloodRayne, half vampiress, half the embodiment of players' wet dreams, sowed death and destruction, but was also quite cunning. The plot might have not been a masterpiece; we got Nazis, occultism and a pinch of understatement, but the atmosphere was pretty appealing. It literally poured out of the screen along with Rayne's ferocious punches.

The same cannot be said of Uwe Boll's movie. This is perhaps not the worst of his accomplishments; this might actually be his top five. But it's still a weak film in almost every way.

The cast is where it's at – not so famous at the time, but also not quite anonymous – we've got Michelle Rodriguez, Kristinna Loken, Michael Madsen, Udo Kier and Ben Kingsley himself. Unfortunately, Marvel's Mandarin comes across as a rather unconvincing father of the protagonist. None of his ominous deliver any sense of horror. What we feel is mostly indifference, with a fit of embarrassment.

The worst part, however, is that the movie lacks a punch. Everything is half-baked. Rayne is neither violent nor gentle; the set design is neither overly realistic nor really exaggerated. The soundtrack is completely unremarkable. Even so, the movie occasionally manages to translate the game's atmosphere. And after dozens of minutes of chaos, the action begins to move in a more or less sensible direction. To be clear, it's a weak picture, but Boll didn't manage to spoil everything.