4. Picasso in the basement. 13 Sick Things We Did to The Sims
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There's no limits to malevolence. Things start to get freaky by now, but remember – it's all for the sake of science.
Imagine this: a player built a basement divided into cells. Each furnished with a bunk, toilet, sink... and a painting rack. Then, the player introduced a creatively gifted family there – say the Kelly Family, but of fine arts. The sims had no access to other parts of the house; would never leave, never party, never go to work, or even make a phone call. Instead, they painted.
The rest of the entire god-forsaken mansion was of course lavishly inhabited by the overseer's avatar. The said ring was financed through selling the artwork produced by the isolated family of artists. The overseer did provide food for the prisoners, but they could only eat if their paintings sold well – obviously. Unfortunately, the business venture soon collapsed, because "Most of them went crazy and died," as one of the neighbor sims stated. "Evviva l'arte!" was our answer, "The man must die," as one Polish poet said as early as in 1894.
5. Reality show
Another user bragged about running a reality show at his home. He built a beautiful, modern house, not unlike those from the once popular reality TV shows. Then, he invited a bunch of typical sims inside. The player did not interfere in their lives, gave them free will, and the sims lived happily, hosting parties, eating and romancing.
To spice things up, after three days, the player introduced a simple rule: the most hated sim would be evicted. "Eviction" was actually obtained through killing the poor bastards. You think those Hunger Games were brutal? Come on, play The Sims yourself. I always thought this whole reality show thing was a scam.
Dr. Manka's advice:
We invited an expert, my fine colleague, an outstanding expert on hopeless cases. He is the president of the sims emancipation movement, and his research on the destructive effects of the pool on the psyche of a growing mind brought him worldwide fame and recognition. "The Doctor," as I grew to call him is a scholar and a gentleman, as well as the author of numerous bestsellers, including – but not limited to – 50 Shades of Sims, Sim of Green Gables, Life Simulation, and A Brief History of Sim. In his works, he warns that killing Sims may be the first sign of germinating psychopathy.
Me: What should we look out for if our child is playing The Sims?
"The Doctor": You should mostly look out for changing patterns of behavior. If your child wants to go to the swimming pool or inquiries you about furnaces, it can be a warning sign. It's also worth checking up on the grandma regularly to make sure she hasn't been "bricked off."
Me: How serious is this?
Doc: It's crazy serious, man. Did you know, sir, that every 10 seconds 12 sims dies? Do you how how many seconds an hour has? Do the math! Multiply! That's something to think about.
Me: What complications are we speaking of?
Doc: Very serious stuff! Has your child been speaking in an unfamiliar language? Has it suggested taking on the career of a mafioso? Independent research by experts shown that too much exposure to the pathology in The Sims can lead to bad taste in video games.
Me: You're kidding me, Doc!
Doc: Not at all! One extreme leads to another!
